Netflix Apocalypse
by The Last Ronin
Summary: <html><head></head>"We got along fine without Emma for a long time, I think we can manage without her for a day." All hell breaks loose in Storybrooke when Emma takes a day off to enjoy a day alone with her pirate and David is determined she not be disturbed.</html>


I know everyone is going crazy over the Netflix line. So here's my take on that date. Oh, and before we begin I've taken a tiny bit of license with the characters. In this fic Ruby can change into her wolf form at will, not just when the full moon is out. That's it!

Also, kudos to anyone who figures out what movies Emma and Killian watch.

Enjoy!

_**~The Last Ronin~**_

**x-x-Emma-x-x**

I take one last look around the station before I turn the reins over to my dad for the day. Everything seems to be in order: the staplers are full; the printers have paper and ink; the monthly reports are done; all the various forms are stocked and the coffee maker is burbling away happily. That should about do it. Hopefully he won't have too much to deal with today. Even so…

"Are you sure you don't mind if I take the rest of the day off?" I ask again. With all the usual craziness it's been a while since I promised Killian a Netflix date and we haven't had the time for it yet. But if my dad needs me here today we can always wait another day or so.

"Emma," he sighs and stuffs my jacket into my arms as he guides me to the door, "if I see you back here today you're grounded. Now go enjoy your day off."

I shake my head with a snort as he kisses my forehead and pushes me outside. Oh fine, if he wants to be like that. With one last look at the station I hop in my car and head off to collect some popcorn and my pirate. Maybe it is possible to have a day to ourselves.

**x-x-x-x-x**

"You sure it's ok for you to shirk your duties like this Swan?" Killian teases as we push through the door to the loft, arms laden with snacks for our movie marathon.

"Well this weeks apocalypse hasn't started yet so I'm gonna take a certain someone's advice and enjoy a quiet moment at home," I kick the door shut and dump my bags on the counter.

We quickly set to work sorting through our goodies and while Killian stows the ice cream in the freezer I toss a few frozen pizza's into the oven and get some microwave popcorn going. While we wait I tear open a bag of M&Ms and pop a few in my mouth before offering a couple to my…boyfriend? We never did get around to figuring out what exactly we are though I suppose that label works well enough all things considering.

Killian eyes the colorful candies warily before tossing back a few himself and I try not to laugh at the comical expression of surprise that crosses his face. I take another handful and give him the rest of the bag while I retrieve our popcorn along with a bowl to empty it into.

"Ready?" I ask as I grab a bag of Cheetos in my free hand and head for the couch.

"Always," he says and plops down onto to couch, a six pack of Coke dangling from his hook, a few bags of M&Ms clutched in his good hand.

I scoot next to him and park the popcorn between us so I can snag both the X-Box and TV controllers. Now where should we begin? It only takes a few seconds of scrolling to find the first movie I have in mind. For a little while I had toyed with the idea of showing him "Peter Pan" but eventually I decided that it was probably a good idea to get him used to the idea of movies first before I inflict that particular one on him. Well, that and I promised Henry he could be there the first time Killian saw the Disney version of himself.

"Ok, here we go," I grin over at him as he cracks open a few cans and passes one to me.

"Cheers love," he grins back and we clink cans as I hit play.

**x-x-David-x-x**

I can't believe how long that took. Emma was supposed to be off the entire day and yet despite that I'd found her in the office when I came in. I'd come very close to throttling her before I finally managed to get her out the door and on her way to enjoying her day off.

At least things have been quiet the past several days. If they hadn't I don't know if I would have even been able to convince her to take a day in the first place. Hopefully nothing too crazy happens while I'm by myself otherwise I'll never be able to convince her to take a vacation again. And she needs one every once in a while otherwise she's going to drive herself into the ground.

I shake my head as I make sure the phones are set to forward calls to my cell and then grab the keys to the cruiser. Time to go take a look around town and check on things.

The drive to Main Street is quiet, barely anyone out and about as I park in front of Granny's. Snow is spending the day with Ruby and Neal so they should be here still. I'll just poke my head in for a minute to check on them before I continue my patrol.

Life, apparently, has other ideas though because I barely get five feet before…

"We're under attack!" Screams Leroy as he runs up, his clothes slightly charred, "Where's Emma?"

"On vacation," I grab him by the arm before he can take off again, "what's going on?"

"We have to find her then so she can take care of this!" The dwarf tries to pull free but I tighten my grip.

"No! She is not to be bothered today for any reason," I yank him back until I can hold his gaze, "whatever is happening we'll take care of it. Without Emma."

**x-x-Emma-x-x**

"You must be joking. There's no way those things were real," Killian says for the dozenth time as he stares at the TV.

"You've seen giants, dragons, krakens and killer shadows and yet you draw the line at dinosaurs?" I say around a mouthful of pizza and raise an eyebrow at him.

"But there's just no way something that big could be…," he trails off, wincing slightly as the T-Rex on the screen roars.

"We'll have to go to a museum sometime," I muse aloud and take a swig of my beer; we'd upgraded our drinks once the pizza was ready, "then you can get an idea of exactly how big some of them were."

"You want to get close to those things?" He turns an incredulous gaze my way, "You must be mad."

I laugh as the credits begin to roll and I scroll through the list for our next movie, "No they're all dead, extinct. Museums have fossilized bones of them though so we can see. Don't worry, if you're afraid I'll protect you from the scary rocks."

He narrows his eyes at me and I lean over to press a quick kiss to his lips before he can say anything further. Another laugh slips free as I see his stunned expression; I really should be ashamed of shutting him up like that…but I'm not.

"Ok next movie."

**x-x-David-x-x**

I lean heavily on my sword, panting, and glance over at Regina as she burns away the dragon's corpse. We don't know where it came from or how it got here but that didn't stop it from torching Sneezy's Miata, much to the dwarf's anger.

"Well, that was exciting," I groan and probe the long shallow cut on my arm where the dragon's tail caught me, "let's not do that again anytime soon ok?"

My step-mother-in-law levels an irritated glare my way, "It would have been easier if you'd let me enlist Ms. Swan to help."

"Regina, we got along fine without Emma for a long time," I press part of my sliced sleeve against my wound to staunch the slight bleeding, "I think we can manage without her for a day."

"Right, fine."

"Let's just go meet up with Snow and Henry at Granny's," I sigh, "lunch is on me."

"We're doomed!" Leroy comes tearing down the street like the hounds of Hell are on his heels.

"Can we call Ms. Swan now?" Regina grits out, clearly annoyed.

"No. We can handle whatever it is by ourselves."

My daughter is getting her day off if it kills me.

**x-x-Emma-x-x**

"So the only thing keeping them there was the shackle on each of their ankles?" Killian asks, his brow scrunched in thought, "And the only thing their captor wanted from them was for them to escape?"

"Right," I nod and lick some of the powdered cheese from my Cheetos off my fingers.

"Which they could only do by cutting off their own foot," He continues.

"Right," I root around the bottom of the bag for some more of the crispy snacks and sigh when I realize the bag is empty.

"Which they had to accomplish with the saw their captor provided each of them," he finishes.

"Exactly," I get up and stretch the kinks out of my back as I head for the freezer, dragging my pirate with me. Ice cream is definitely required for our next movie.

"That's just weird," Killian shakes his head as he takes the containers of frozen goodness I pass him.

"It was a psychological horror movie," I nod at his conclusion, "they're supposed to be weird."

Let's see…cherries, walnuts, sprinkles, hot fudge, whipped cream of course. I think that's everything we need for sundaes. Before I can get started on making them though a hand slides around my waist and I'm tugged backwards.

"So, what's next?" Killian's hot breath on my ear makes me squirm and I clamp a hand over my mouth to stifle the giggle threatening to emerge.

"Well," I turn and wrap my arms around his neck, "next we're making ice cream sundaes so you're just going to have to wait and see about our next movie."

I peck him once on the lips and grin, "be patient pirate."

**x-x-David-x-x**

Hell hounds. Who would have thought?

"Have you ever seen those before?" I ask Regina as I offer her a hand up.

She grimaces and accepts, dusting herself off once she's back on her feet, "That was a first for me too."

I shake my head and run a hand through my hair, wincing as I realize that I'm going to have a shorter patch on the back of my head where a fireball nearly got me when I ducked it. Damn mutts. At least they weren't invisible like in that TV show Ruby likes.

"The last one's gone," the aforementioned brunette reports as she pushes her way out of some bushes, refastening her cloak about her. Claw marks mar her cheek where evidently one of the hounds got her but even from this distance I can see them healing; the perks of being a child of the moon I guess.

"Good, thanks you two," I nod to both women and wipe my blade clean before sheathing it, "where's Snow and Neal?"

"With Granny," Ruby says around a yawn, "we managed to lead all the hounds out of town so they should be ok. Dinner though?"

"Sure, I need to check up on them anyway," I nod as tired as she seems.

"I'll pass," Regina shakes her head, "I'd like to spend some of today with Henry."

"Run for your lives!" Leroy shouts, appearing out of nowhere as he flies past us.

"I'm going to kill that dwarf," Regina growls, her eyes flashing dangerously.

Honestly, I'm starting to agree with that sentiment.

**x-x-Emma-x-x**

I blow my nose and dab at my eyes as the credits start rolling on our latest movie. Killian nudges the tissue box towards me with his knee and I give him a watery smile as I reach for another. Tears glisten on his cheeks and is he…?

"Are you taking notes?" I ask, jaw slack as I see him writing rapidly in a small notebook that he produced from God knows where.

"Aye, I may have many a year of practice at wooing the lasses but this Noah fellow is clearly a master," my pirate nods, tucking the notebook into his jacket, "this movie was quite informative. Now I just need to find some way to conjure a rainstorm…"

I'm not even sure if he's talking to me anymore but I can't help but laugh because I know this is going to lead somewhere bizarre. My laugh turns into a sigh because there's no way this can end well but he looks so…adorable as he sits there plotting and planning with a brilliant smile on his face that I don't have the heart to try and stop him. Oh well. What's a little bit more insanity in my life anyway?

**x-x-David-x-x**

"Can we call Emma now?" Leroy demands as he drives his pickaxe into the skull of another zombie.

"No!" I shout back as I remove the head from one zombie and impale another through the eye with my sword. Despite the fact that I really don't want to bother Emma, we may not have a choice any longer as we're slowly being backed up the stairs to the loft.

To my right Regina hurls fireball after fireball while next to her Robin keeps up a steady barrage of arrows. To my left Ruby knocks a zombie's head clean off with a single swipe of her paw and she snarls angrily at the advancing corpses though they continue to ignore her.

"This is kind of fun!" Tiny shouts from next to Ruby and I look at him, surprised. Where the heck did he come from? I haven't seen him in ages.

My foot twists on something as I take a step backwards and I fall into the door with a bang. It only takes me a moment to right myself in time to impale another zombie and send it tumbling down the stairs, giving us a small reprieve for a moment.

Behind me the door opens and I turn to find Emma standing there, a puzzled look on her face.

"Everything ok Dad?" She asks, her eyes sweeping over the group of us as we try to catch our breath.

"Fine," I say trying to usher her back inside, when I notice the rumpled state of her clothing and my eyes land on several streaks of something dark on her cheek and neck…and is that…, "Is there whipped cream in your hair?"

"What?" Her hands fly up to her head, patting her hair to find the offending substance as her cheeks turn a bright red, "We were uh…making milk shakes and Killian forgot to put the lid on the blender…"

"Ah, ok. Have fun with that," I nod and push her back into the apartment, slamming the door behind her. I turn back to the others in time to see the zombies coming back up the stairs.

"Emma gonna help?" Leroy demands.

"Nope, we got this," I say quickly and charge forward because facing down a legion of zombies seems like a far easier ordeal than finding out the details of my daughter's sex life.


End file.
